Below are the 8 most recent journal entries recorded in kyle BO byle's LiveJournal:

Thursday, March 23rd, 2006
10:26 pm	Ever have a moment when you stumble across something surprising when going through something so mundayne? Well, I have. I was downloading music when i stumbled upon an alternate version of Alkaline Trio's album "Good Mourning", the songs sound really different, the songs have different parts. If that didn't make me happy, there's a song that ia mislabeled, but i have no idea what the song is, and cannot find it in any record. The lyrics don't match any listed song. I don't know if it's a Blood Pact song, but I'm really curious to what it really is. But the rest of the album is awesome, having a non-electric version of "Blue in the Face" This has officially made my day better. ^_^ Current Mood: ecstatic Current Music: Alkaline Trio - dunno what this song is (Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 22nd, 2006
7:40 pm	so... I've had a lot of inspiration for my music lately, so thats fun. I dont really know how to describe the music; lyrically, i guess its personalized about my experiences with maybe a little inspiration from Pablo Neruda... i dont know, i just love his imagery. Right now, its starting to sound like a bunch of acoustics, mainly because i don't have a band, hahaha. I think that i might actually bother to keep these songs, and keep working on them. GO GO GADGET GUITAR! Current Mood: creative Current Music: Stars "Your Ex-Lover is Dead" (Comment on this)
Monday, March 20th, 2006
12:50 am	wow... i just found out some lovely information that just made my day. I like when stuff like this happens, because it brings me more understanding of the things that are going on around me. It makes me chuckle at well just thinking of all the fun i'm about to have with this little tid bit of information. Hurray for people being hypocrites. My only response to this info upon hearing was: "O RLY?". =P Current Mood: devious Current Music: Nada Surf "La Pour Ca" (15 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, March 19th, 2006
4:47 pm	I just had a long conversation with my older sister, and she gave me some surprising news that would surely shock the rest of my family, but i was sworn to secrecy, so they won't know for a while. I hope to go visit her in CA over the summer; she says that it will be lots of fun and there will be ton of cute indie girls... so thats pretty rad. She's going to be going to NH w/ her boyfriend, and she wants the family to visit them; i really want to go, because I haven't seen her since Christmas. Last night I hung out with some friends whom i haven't seen in such a long time, it was like a grand reunion. So we went out and played some hardcore Sting, because if i'm gonna feel hurt, it might as well be physical pain inflicted by my friends done in fun. I let out so much aggression; i came home all bruised and bloody and had no doubt that it was an awesome time. So, i was cleaning my house and i came across a bunch of cds and dvds that belong to my sister... but she lives in CA now, so i'm taking them. Amongst them were the extended versions for the first two LOTR movies, i can't wait to watch them. I also found an album of a band that i haven't listened to in forever. The band is Moment, they're a good punk band with heart-felt lyrics. My favorite song off the album is definately "Thick and Unweildy From All Our Lawyers". I've been listening to this album non-stop, i love. Lyrics a-go-go "I know you're talking to me but I think you might be forgetting, man. I'm hard of hearing- hard words hit hearts hard. My hearts always been heavy, solid and open: a punching bag for assholes like you. baby it's just me, to take a beating with grace, and keep my voice even without tears on my face. I can listen to you tear me down forever. Just remember: oh, love. I've seen horrible things. wondering how I can sing with eyes stinging and no money? you think this is the worst that it gets? if you think this shit is my fault, fine. i've lived through every single curse. and if jaded words are all you're offering. bring them. when i'm drown. unaccepted, just remember, I always knew why you did it, just remember i could have swam, I just didn't. I'm not trying to fuck up, this is just how I am. Try to kill me if it makes you happy. all you can kill is my name. as much as you want me to hit back and hate you, my heart's here for you just the same. a punching bag with a common name." Current Mood: geeky Current Music: Moment "Thick and Unweildy From All Our Lawyers" (Comment on this)
Saturday, March 18th, 2006
12:59 am	to clarify... there are more than just two people who read my entries... i have given my link out to people who have been there for me today... tonight was wierd, i'll never do something like that again... but it seems like something happened during the course that i am starting to regret(mainly on myspace). things that cannot be unsaid, but they were things said that were not from the heart. they were things that came from my fucked up state of mind... i dont even remember writing it... but i did, and now theres nothing i can do. Once again i am feeling powerless, but its all due to the out of the norm situations that happened. To all of those people who i have hurt with those words... i apologize; you may never realize how sorry i truly am. words need to be spoken from the heart, and not from an altered state of mind... its a lesson learned in the worst way, where there is no redemption from. so all i can do is ask for people to understand, and mark me off as a fucked up guy instead of a heartless douche bag. If I could find a way to repent for this, i would do it in an instant. it just seems that the bigger the breakdown... the worse things get messed up. once again, i am infinately sorry for everything mean or spiteful that was said, it was just something that happened that i regret and i now have to live with... i just hope i don't slip into this being a habit Current Mood: indescribable (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, March 17th, 2006
1:26 pm	So, as if I thought that things couldn't get any worse... it does. People are trying to reassure me that it's not my fault and tell me that I'm better than that, but i'm taking that as generic friend comments trying to make me feel better. I'm really glad that I tried to explain why I'm the way that I am... telling things that not even my best friends know; and these are people that i've known since i was 3 years old. I spill my guts about that, and tell how i feel about her... and it didn't even matter much. I know that i'm socially awkward, she knows why...and she wants me to be able to just shed my ways of being shy as if it's the simplist thing. In the past week, I've really made large strides in becoming less shy, but it's probably not noticeable to someone who is used to being so extroverted. In the past week... i've gone from being terrified of even being in the same room as my crush, to being able to get as close as I did. And as fast as it started, it all came crashing down... my emotions feel nothing and she is off with some guy who has some kind of competition with me. Some steroid case(he seriously is, i have stories) who for the past year has been trying to out do me; he ries to out do me in class, trying to get the same friends, and now the same girl... right now he's 1 for 3, i assume that you can guess where his victory was. I'm sure that if we asked about it, we would totally deny it and try to make me look bad... but the great thing about windows... you can see through them and get surprised. And for that reason, I'm glad I have some friends looking out for me. to recap: my shyness that i poured my heart about caused me to be left for a steroid case and it seems like she's acting like nothing happened with me. I know i don't drink or anything like that... but i just want to get really fucked up. I dont know if things can be fixed, and i dont know what to do. "All that i have is finally over Good knocking again I've given the chance, do it all over To lose her again Sleep tight, never you mind Lonely hearts breaking tonight Never i dared had i, been close to sober Is out of my head Back of my mind if i only had shown her Shed be mine again Sleep tight, never you mind" Lonely hearts are breaking tonight" Current Mood: crushed Current Music: The New Amsterdams "Lonely Hearts" (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, March 16th, 2006
12:42 am	so...now that the day is over, i know understand the bad feeling that i had eating away at me. And because of my numerous soical deficiencies, and my own fear of rejection; I may have lost the best and only chance with such an amazing girl. I know that she must feel horrible and rejected... and that just makes me feel worse(even though i shouldn't compare... i'm just a horrible person). One of the only girls who liked me for who i am... or at all. *EDIT* the day went from horrible, to good (mainly because of who I was hanging out with), then i fucked up... and it went back to horrible... just like how i feel. So within 24 hours, I have gone from a sweet guy to some stupid fuck who ruined what was probably the best thing to happen to me. All i can do is hope and pray that things haven't completely dissintegrated past the point of repair. theres a sense of a broken heart, but i can't help but remember the lyrics from "Alameda" by Elliot Smith: "Nobody broke your heart, you broke your own, cuz you can't finish what you start" *EDIT* I'm using this toward myself because it seems like i can never follow through with anything important. I'm always thought of as the "happy" kid with no problems... i just don't tell people my inner anguish. I can only hope that tommorrow is better... how can it be worse? "feels like a zillion years and I don't want wait more to find you is to lose you, what is that for? tell me" Current Mood: depressed Current Music: Saves the Day "Tomorrow is Too Late" (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 15th, 2006
5:55 pm	so, today has been quite a bad day... the whole day I've just had some sinking feeling, as if something bad is going to happen and kind of a feeling that i'm just so distant from everyone else today. I can't really put my finger on why i am in such a bad mood, but i could really use some cheering up, but all i have is emo music...so thats not gonna happen any time soon. If you wish to try to cheer me up, you can always im me: AlienNinjaMonkey or even message me on MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/7352910 I guess it's only natural to feel this way after having the best week ever. I didn't really sleep last night, haven't really eat anything at all (had a brown sugar pop tart), and my classes didn't even go that well. After class, they were showing the new Harry Potter movie in the student center, but like I said, i just felt very distant from everybody. Today, my hero is Charlie Brown, because he's the original emo kid. oh well, today is just an emo day, hopefully it will get better Current Mood: distressed Current Music: The New Amsterdams "Losing You" (Comment on this)